While conducting over one hundred private writing tutorials with professionals, I have found many who try to communicate clearly by writing the “short, declarative sentences” our middle school teachers taught us to write. (See Writing Tip “Of Lawyers, Sharks, and Hemingway.”) Ironically, they clutter these short declarative sentences with “transitions” that overlap and thicken their sentences, making their writing even more difficult to read.

Shaw’s Attendance Policy requires proper notice of an employee’s absence. Proper notice by an employee occurs when the employee calls the Company.

Shaw’s Attendance Policy requires proper notice of an employee’s absence, which occurs when the employee calls the Company.

Charging Party was hired in May 2009 as a Senior Account Manager. The Senior Account Manager is the primary point of contact on client accounts.

Charging Party was hired in May 2009 as a Senior Account Manager, the primary point of contact on client accounts.

Mr. Calloway worked as a field trainee. In this position, Mr. Calloway worked on various rigs without permanent assignment.

Mr. Calloway worked as a field trainee on various rigs without permanent assignment.

Thereafter, both discussed this splitting of commissions with Valencia, who denied the
request. Valencia denied this request for a number of reasons.

Thereafter, both discussed this splitting of commissions with Valencia, who denied the
request for a number of reasons.

You do not need to link your sentences by overlapping the end of one with the beginning of the next. That only saddles your reader with more words to sort through in search of those with meaning. When you remove the overlap, your writing dramatically improves.